penny for your thoughts...

a new season.

2011-07-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

it's been another long season since my last blog and quite honestly, it's just been a busy time. i find when i feel really busy in life, often it is hard to sit and create original thoughts or even write down the events that are occurring.

to add to that, i found myself in a season where i never felt like i was able to completely rest. i didn't feel at home in the place i was living, a relationship ended that i thought was for the long-haul, and it made it hard to ever feel like i could just relax. i don't think i have realized how difficult those months were until looking back on them now.

and while those days were often exhausting, i feel as though a new season has been shifted into and a renewal has begun to occur within me. the catalyst: i moved last weekend into a home and into a neighborhood. this is a transition i was so ready for. i got out of a noisy and cold apartment and moved into a place where i can settle a bit. where families play outside. where there is quiet instead of beer cans laying in the hall outside my front door. what an incredible change and amazing blessing.

the place you live has an effect on you in a way that i was completely unaware of until recently. your home, the place that is your respite from the world, has the profound ability to create rest and peace or continue to further the stress that daily living can often perpetuate. this was a new realization for me and after a season of living in a location where i never felt able to truly rest, i am so thankful for this new chapter and season. i'm thanking the Lord for his sweet faithfulness in providing this opportunity, this house, this neighborhood to renew and invigorate my spirit again.

the week before i moved i also made a quick trip to nashville, my heart's home. it had been almost a year since i'd been and i was itching to get there. there is something that happens to me there. i slow down. i breathe deeply. i feel creative. i feel alive in a profound way that i do not in dallas. it is good for me to go there and i pray that one day i will in fact call it home. for now though, dallas is where the Lord has placed and kept me. nevertheless, my trip provided a time to breathe and begin to prepare for this new season. i read, drank coffee, spent time with my sister, and sat in beautiful locations like the one above. that was on the patio of an italian restaurant. enchanting evening. i returned from my trip ready to turn the page of a new chapter.

so here i am in a new house with renewed energy and hopes for what this new season will bring. i pray that it will be a sweet one with times of celebration, joy, peace, and rest. i can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.

colder weather.

2011-02-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

one might think that the title of this blog is referring to the crazy snowpocalypse we've had in dallas over the last few weeks, but that would be incorrect. not the crazy snow part. apparently we were living in the north pole for a while there. the incorrect assumption would be in thinking this post is about that. it's not.

rather, the title is in reference to the latest song release from the zac brown band. the song is entitled 'colder weather' and it has been receiving regular play time on my ever-changing playlist. the harmonies produced by these guys are unmatched...except for maybe by 'the rescues.' see a few posts down for the scoop on them. this song definitely creates the "i'm gonna come out of my skin" sensation that communicates to me that a song is a winner.

enjoy.

p.s. the rescues...their music...or a few bandmates will be appearing on 'glee' next tuesday. you don't want to miss it. you're welcome for the heads up.

deciphering me.

2011-01-29T13:28:00.000-08:00

on this warm, bright day i decided to take to the katy trail and pound it out on the pavement. the mission was two-fold. get some exercise and spend some time with jesus. as i walk and have my music turned up, the Lord speaks more clearly than most other times to me. and i needed to hear from him today.

so i set out, began to walk, and turned the music up. as the sun poured out gently and generously and the wind broke forth cautiously at times, the comfort and gravity of the Lord's love for me enveloped my entire being. i could have walked for hours to continue to walk in that space and time of clarity, knowing on a deep level that i am loved and held in that love by something that is not any of my doing, but only by his. i am known and anchored by he who created me and that is the most comforting thing i can think of.

the musical conduit that the Lord used to communicate this message was the australian voice of brooke fraser. her songs 'shadowfeet' and especially 'deciphering me' powered my steps and moved my mind as i walked in the light of the afternoon.

the rescues.

2011-01-20T19:59:00.001-08:00

i love music. a life without music is a little bit like life without oxygen for me. it's what moves my soul, fills me up, and stirs my affections for Jesus. music lifts and energizes and refreshes me.

so when i find a band, a singer, or a specific song that is legit and lights out fantastic, i get super excited and usually begin to herald said band, singer, or song to anyone who will listen.

so let me continue to herald. if you haven't heard of the band 'the rescues,' allow me to introduce you. they are rob giles, gabriel mann, kyler england, and adrianne gonzalez. and they are the bomb. buy their album. go to their shows. help them keep making this beautiful sound.

enjoy.

hello again.

2011-01-16T15:05:00.000-08:00

well, it's been a while. that is partially due to my internet going out at my house (i loathe you, time warner) and partially due to the overwhelmingly busy season that has been the last several months of my life. while it's been fun, it has left me worn out, tired, and having had little time to write and blog.

one super notable thing happened in my blogging absence. you all know of my love of shauna niequist's writing and how i kind of wish we could be besties. yes. so she came into town to do an event with us at irving bible church! it was such a special night getting to hear her thoughts and ideas about writing, motherhood, and bittersweet seasons. i was struck by just how open, honest, and comfortable she seems in her own skin. completely look up to her and if she lived in dallas would be stalking her to just absorb as much wisdom as i could.

i was also impressed because not only did she remember prior conversations that we'd had, but she remembered my sister's name. she met my sister 2 years before. 2 years. that's impressive, people. i already knew she was legit, but that just confirmed it. you rock, shauna.

here's a photo from the evening:

speaking of shauna, she is quite frequently posting book lists of things she has recently read that i always find really helpful when making trips to the bookstore. so here's what i've been reading over the past year:

hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet
by: jamie ford
loved this one. set in the pacific northwest during the time of the japanese internment camps of WW2, this is a sweet and innocent love story between a chinese boy and a japanese girl and how the prejudice of the period affected their relationship. ford is a good writer, evoking a very real sense that i was in seattle while i was reading. love that.

the help
by: kathryn stockett
again, LOVED. told in 3 separate female voices during the 60's in mississippi, the tension from the race riots is palpable. a must read.

the girl with the dragon tattoo
by: lars stieg
i read this whole series in the matter of a couple months. they are compelling. lisbeth salander is an incredibly complex, interesting character that is not often found.

the secret garden
by: frances hodgsen burnett
honestly, i liked the movie better. and that never happens. this just felt really repetitive in its describing the garden and all the plants. i'm not a big fan of naturalism writing and this proved why. no thanks.

the bell jar
by: sylvia plath
hmmm...it took me almost a year to get through this one. i think that means i didn't love it. while esther greenwood is a compelling character, i just never really connected with the story.

twilight
by: stephanie meyer
i resisted this for so long, but finally gave in when a co-worker that is a reader told me to read them. while i will submit that the plotline is an addicting one, the writing was not the best. sorry, stephanie meyer. it wasn't. yell at your editor a little bit.

found art
by: leanna tankersley
i think i went into this one with unfair expectations. i expected her to be shauna and to have the same voice because the genre is similar. when she didn't, i was disappointed, but i think that's my fault. leanna is a good writer and has interesting stories to tell, i just didn't personally connect with them the way i have with shauna's writing. fault is mine. write more, leanna.

bittersweet
by: shauna niequist
duh. loved it. you should read it. it's phenomenal. i actually read this a couple of times this year. and get excited...shauna's hard at work on #3. it will be titled 'bread and wine.'

that's enough for now. i'm reading 'life of pi' by yann martel currently. it's interesting. i think i like it. i'll let you know.

take me away...

2010-09-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I head to the refreshingly wonderful Nashville, Tennessee with my sweet boyfriend, Matt, and our friend, Jordan. I can't wait to be in the city I love. My heart soars at the thought...

"Y'all take it easy now. This isn't Dallas, it's Nashville! They can't do this to us here in Nashville! Let's show them what we're made of. Come on everybody, sing! Somebody, sing!" -'Nashville'

Photos of our trip are soon to come! For now, let's get on the road...

old fashioned letters.

2010-08-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

There's just something about it. You go to the mailbox, open the door, and see it laying there. A letter. Perhaps it has a fun stamp, someone's handwriting in a distinct pen, and maybe a fun return address stamp or something. It was written out of love or thoughtfulness or care or all three. Someone took the time to write out their thoughts and encouragement and send it your way like a surprise. There is just something so magical about that. So rich and meaningful.

I received a letter in the mail today. A card really, but it had the writing inside to make it seem like a letter. My sweet friend, Kari, sent me a thank you card for some things I gave her before her wedding. And rather than write the necessary thank you's and move on, she really took her time and wrote down a few thoughts, person-specific encouragement, and very un-canned responses. And it meant so much to me.

Consider this:

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls;

for, thus friends absent speak. ~John Donne

Kari and I haven't been able to see each other in a few months because of her wedding and all the transition that follows that, and yet today I felt closer to her than I have in a long while. The power of the letter, the written word, is immense and is a power we often neglect. Perhaps it is this power, this enduring quality that the written word holds, that allowed God to choose it as the form in which He left us His Truth. In fact, much of the New Testament is written in this very form: the letter.

In many of his letters included in scripture, Paul begins in the very way that our own letters often appear. He encouraged its recipient.

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with

joy in my every prayer for you all." -Philippians 1:3-4

"We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

praying always for you..." -Colossians 1:3

"We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you

in our prayers..." -1 Thessalonians 1:2

"We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because

your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward

one another grows ever greater..." -2 Thessalonians 1:3

May we continue this practice of writing letters to one another. In this digital culture of emails and text messages and Facebook and even blogs, it is my hope that we continue to put pen to paper and reach out to one another in an old fashioned way. There is no sweeter surprise or greater encouragement than finding a letter in the mailbox written just for you by someone you love.

bittersweet.

2010-08-21T15:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, y'all know how much I love Shauna's work. For me, reading her words is like reading insights into my own mind that I hadn't yet connected. She writes the way I think. Her words inspire me to do the things I kind of think about, but don't dare do. Her words inspire ME to write the way I want to write. And homegirl loves Jesus and stirs my affection for Christ in constantly pointing to Him in her writing. She's coming to Dallas in November and is doing an event at Irving Bible Church that my friend, Aubrey, is organizing. Ladies, y'all need to come. You know it will be fantastic. Talk to me for details if you're interested.

Her latest work is wonderful, challenging, honest, and inspiring. Here are a few thoughts I have about it...

There are many words that could be used to describe Shauna's recent work: raw, gritty, funny, sarcastic, inspiring. However, the one word that most encapsulates the tone and the brilliance is this one: honest.

Writing about a personal season of heartache, change, and struggle, Shauna lets the reader into very raw and honest places in her life. She shares the pain and feelings of isolation following a miscarriage, the struggles that arise in marriage when listening stops, and the challenge of accepting and moving with change. It is all at once a beautiful tapestry of wisdom and a felt pain shared between reader and author in the communicating of these experiences.

Through it all, Shauna constantly points back to her faith in Christ as being the stronghold that carried her through the season of deep difficulty she experienced. Interweaving Biblical truths in her own refreshing language and style, Shauna provides insight and wisdom that does not terminate on herself but rather points the reader to a greater Answer.

In blessing or mourning, this work is one that is essential. The combination of its honesty and hope in the presence of hard circumstances is something that will provide encouragement to the reader, regardless of the season they find themselves in.

Shauna, thank you for letting us in, pointing us to Christ, and running the race before you well. Inspiring.

"...one day I'll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being." -Things I Don't Do, 'Bittersweet'

moving.

2010-08-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

Contrary to what the title might make you think, I'm not moving. I did move. About a month ago. But I am not moving now. Just wanted to clear all that up. Thanks and gig'em.

The title is indicative of what I feel like the Lord is doing right now. HE is moving. I see things happening around me that can be one thing and one thing only: the sweet, mighty, and providential hand of God is stirring, swirling, and softly moving amongst people in my life. And I am so excited. I feel like, if possible, my soul might burst open. I want to tell everyone about it. I want to tell them that He is good, that He saves and is saving, and that He loves us.

I am humbled at the idea that I get to play some small role in the hugely eternal work that the Lord is doing of saving souls. My gosh. Life can never be boring when we realize the great drama of life that we get to participate in and the urgency that awaits every relationship, every interaction, and every conversation.

So writing this is my attempt at keeping my soul from exploding, an outlet of excitement if you will. And the picture is to give you readers, or reader in the singular perhaps, a visual representation of this excitement. Just can hardly contain it...

a new england weekend

2010-07-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

My weekend in New England was quite the experience and far too fun to completely synthesize to an appropriate length for this blog. It included a 12-hour trip to NYC on 4 hours of sleep, walking in on a wedding on 5th Avenue, the car battery dying and standing around at a Pep Boys, getting trampled in Philly on the 4th only to be protected by random strangers, getting lost in Philly on foot, standing in the Atlantic Ocean, and then almost missing my flight back to Dallas. Through it all, AC and I loved being together and were determined to see the humor in everything that happened...almost. All in all, excellent weekend I'd say. Here are a few pictures to capture it...

Love you, AC. Get back to Dallas pronto!!!

new york, i love you...

2010-06-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

One week from Saturday, I will be arriving in the city that I have longed to visit for years now: New York City. As a huge fan of pop culture, I feel as though I know New York inside and out, but have yet to walk the streets. In a week, that will no longer be true. And I. can't. wait.

This blog is dedicated to prepping my excitement for the places I'm hoping to see. I'll only be there for 24 hours, so this will literally be a little amuse bouche of the city. Or a small tasting for you non-foodies out there!

Broadway

I don't think I'll be able to take it if I go and don't take in a show on this street. The Great White Way has been calling my name for years now. Strong vocalists that can dance and act all in one theater...yes, please!!

Serendipity

I would love to sit and drink a frozen hot chocolate at this New York staple. Ever since the movie brought the name to us Americans who don't frequent the city, I've been dying to try it!

Gray's Papaya

The hot dogs of Gray's Papaya are legendary and their acclaim was brought my way via the 1999 production of 'You've Got Mail.' Needless to say, I've wanted to go for over 10 years...

Cafe Lalo

This is another 'You've Got Mail' destination. It is the place that Meg Ryan meets NY152 while reading 'Pride and Prejudice.' It was because of that movie that I read that book, which is now my favorite, and I've always wanted to visit this shop.

Central Park

And last, but certainly not least, is this beautiful place. You cannot visit New York City and not visit this park in its heart. In the future, I would love to go back with a blanket, a book, and a great big cup of coffee. For next weekend, I'll just settle for a stroll through...

New York, I already love you and absolutely can't wait to meet you.

grace...

2010-06-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

grace for one.
grace for many.
grace that saves.
grace that covers.

paid for.
unmerited favor.
freely given.
it alone.

undeserved.
unmatched.
justifies.
forgives.

only through Christ.

the women of genesis

2010-06-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

Since the beginning of the year, I've worked at a place called Genesis Women's Shelter. It is a place that provides counseling and aid to women and children who have been victims of domestic violence in the greater Dallas area and is dang good at it. I took the job not knowing much about domestic violence, knowing more about counseling, but not knowing anything at all about the incredible women that I was about to work with. That has since changed.

The picture above is the clinical team of Genesis Women's Shelter and Outreach and they are strong, intelligent, and funny, funny women. They listen well, care deeply, and laugh loudly. It is a joy and honor to work alongside each of them.

I could tell you things about them...things they wouldn't mind me sharing. I can tell you that Callie, the lone redhead in the picture, has the best one-liners and dry humor I know. Hilarious. I eat several meals with her during the week and she never ceases to make me laugh.

I can tell you that Kim, second from the right in the back, absolutely loves 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' and can talk all the details with absolute incredible memory. This talent makes for really, really fun lunch conversations. This memory is also something that makes Kim incredibly thoughtful. She's a sweet one.

I can tell you that Kelly, top left, has the ability to put anyone at ease instantly with her compassionate presence. Instantly. I'm not kidding. It's incredible. Gifted, gifted clinical director. And she's brilliant. Go ahead...be jealous. And if that wasn't enough, she loves 'Glee.' Get outta here.

I can tell you that Michal Anne, to the left of me, has a sweet soul that is evident immediately. She also hides something from you for a while, but I pulled it out of her. The girl's a singer. A good one. And she's hating that I published that for anyone to see.

I can tell you that Mary Kay, with the white jacket, is a free spirit with an exuberance and zest for life that is contagious. Lots and lots of fun and a GIFTED therapist.

I can tell you that Jessica Callahan, to the right of me, is my office next-door-neighbor and we sit in each other's offices and confide and process sometimes. Thankful for her. And we share the same name. You knew I'd like her.

I can tell you that Gina, Brandy, and Susan K, ends of the bottom row and top right, bust their booties at the shelter and do an amazing job. I just get to see them on Friday's, but they are all very wonderful.

I can tell you that Patty and Penny, second from the right on the bottom row and middle in the blue, are fabulous interns that are fearless in their learning of the counseling world. Get it, girls.

I can tell you that Jessica Callicutt, purply-pink, just left last week and I am so very sad. See, all the Jessica's populated the west wing office for a while and it was fun. Jess was the adolescent therapist and dominated at that. Homegirl loves her fresh fruit and riding her bike in the mornings.

I can tell you that Joanne and Eunise aren't in this picture...they weren't at Mother's Day Luncheon...but both are fabulous. Joanne is a seasoned veteran of a therapist that is so incredibly kind and steady. Eunise is a new mom that is spunky and fun and speaks her mind.

And last, but most certainly not least, I can tell you that Susan, green dress, has the world's best laugh and she uses it often. It's the best...seriously. She is my supervisor and I have definitely cried in her office a few times, so you know I trust her. She too...gifted therapist. AND, she can talk almost all things pop culture and has no fear about re-creating songs from the previous evening's episode of 'Glee.' Rockstar.

There they are. The clinical team at Genesis. Obviously, there are so many more wonderful things about each of them, but for now, there's a little snapshot of who I spend my days with.They are my colleagues, they have become my friends, and I am honored to serve the women and children of Dallas alongside them.

ummm...can you keep singing....like, for forever?!

2010-05-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

i love music. i love listening to people that can sing their little hiney's off. and i especially love listening to powerhouse women that sing their little hiney's off. and tonight, glee indulged one of my very favorite things by providing an INCREDIBLE duet by these two women above: lea michele and the wonderfully talented idina menzel.

you may recognize idina from the original cast of 'rent' as well as the movie cast. she also originated the role of elphaba in 'wicked', winning a tony award for best female actress in a musical. told you. talented. plus, the woman is married to taye diggs. come on.

often when listening to songs like this one, i find myself wanting to somehow crawl into the song and let the melodies swirl all around me. i love the harmonies, the deep vocal tones that come from a woman in complete control of her voice, and the ownership a woman displays when she is rockin' it...and she knows it. absolutely love it and could sit and watch someone like one of these two women sing all the live-long day.

so thank you, glee. you just keep letting idina and lea sing like that. i'll keep watching as long as you put that on television.

give it a listen...

the change continued...

2010-05-11T15:56:00.001-07:00

continued from the post below...

I had gone to Texas A&M with every intention of participating in a very popular idea: the typical college experience. I had always been a rule-follower and I saw this as my chance to “live a little”, or so they say. It was never in my plan to join a Christian sorority, and yet in that moment during that first meeting, I began to understand that my college experience was not going to look at all like I’d thought and there was nothing I could do about it.

As the evening and weeks progressed, I began to grow familiar with ASC, but it all still felt very foreign to me. The language these girls used sounded strange, the fact that they were always so sweet and loving threw me off, and I couldn’t figure out why they cared about getting to know me at all. But one thing I was sure of: there was a passion and quality about their lives that was unlike anything I had ever been around, and I wanted my life to be the same.

I know now, as I learned then, that what I was seeing in their lives that I was so attracted to was the transformative power that comes from knowing Jesus. These girls were confident and loving not because of some innate ability to be that way, but rather because the Gospel had moved in their lives and allowed their minds to be transformed. The book of Romans commands this of us, instructing us to not be conformed to the world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. As I walked with and observed the lives of these women that had been placed around me, I grew more and more encouraged and began to feel safe for the first time in my life.

In the Lord’s gracious providence, He placed me in a small group that year made up of entirely juniors and seniors. My sweet friend, Emily, and I were the only freshmen in the group and over the course of that first year those women taught me what it looked like to walk daily in pursuit of knowing Christ better. He went from being someone I believed in but didn’t really know to being the song that I was singing in life. Through study of Scripture, times of prayer, serving together, and a great amount of encouragement, I began to understand what it meant to know Jesus and it changed my life.

The Lord continued to move in my heart and mind for four years and minister to me through the organization of Aggie Sisters for Christ in numerous ways, but one of the sweetest nights and memories is that first night. It was the night of changed assumptions. It was the night of a path being set. It was the night of the change.

and so it begins...

2010-05-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

For those who know me well, and maybe those who know me well on Facebook, it is common knowledge that I'm a fan of Shauna Niequist's work. She's a writer who makes you feel like you're having a conversation with her as you read. Basically, she's brilliant.

I have always wanted to write a book and her style of writing has been an inspiration in helping me to find my voice. The way she writes is similar to how I write and I feel like her books have given me permission to write the way I want.

So I've started. It will be a while and even then I'll have to see if anyone will even publish it, but it's worth a shot. Here's a little glimpse...

-The Change-

I had no intention of joining. I was just attending the meeting because the girl at the booth seemed nice. It was my first week of college and I found myself at the first informational meeting for Aggie Sisters for Christ, feeling extremely out of place as I walked toward the meeting. In my experience, girls weren’t nice, couldn’t be trusted, and would rather talk bad about you than encourage you, so needless to say I was a bit nervous. My preconceived notions were about to be turned upside down.

As I approached the meeting, a sweet girl named Brynne Bryant walked up with a beaming smile on her face and said, “Are you here for the meeting? Great! Just stick with me tonight. I’ll take care of you.” Immediately, thoughts of panic and confusion hit. What?! Why is she being so nice to me? What’s in it for her? Is there something wrong with me that I need someone with me all night? I followed Brynne into a large conference room that was filled with HUNDREDS of girls, many looking just like me. Nervous.

I sat with Brynne as the meeting started, listening to the president of the organization, Kimberly McNutt, talking about ASC, the purpose behind the fellowship of women, and the goal to glorify Jesus Christ in their time together. And as I listened to Kim talk, something very strange started to happen. I began to hear this whisper, not audibly, but a whisper in my soul that I had felt very few times in my life at this point. It was this kind of confirmation that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, that these women would be my friends, and that there was something important for me to learn in my days with them. It was a strange feeling at the time, but one that I’ve grown more and more accustomed to the more I’ve learned to listen for it. It was the sweet whisper of the Lord, and He was saving my life that night.

change

2010-04-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Over the last year, my life has been mostly characterized by one thing: change. And usually not just one thing changing at a time, but rather several areas of my life shifting beneath my feet like sand. Just when I thought I found an area that was going to remain consistent, it or something related to it would shift. I found myself constantly trying to "create a new normal", to quote my friend, Ann Carolyn. And it was exhausting.

I have finally found myself in a season of relative consistency. I have a wonderful job that I love which is structured and very organized. Check. I have determined new roommates and pretty much know where I'm going to live. Check. At this point, almost all of my close friends are married, so I'm pretty much done with the shifting of amounts of availability for friends. Check...I guess. Basically, things seem rather calm. And while I'm enjoying the calm, I've found myself getting sucked in to missing what was. Missing the old normal. Because while I like the new normal, there are so many things about the old that I liked, that felt safe, and that no one asked me about changing.

And it is usually at this point that the Lord sweetly reminds me about the seasons of life, that change is necessary, and that He has me. God is so sweet in His grace because I constantly fight against this idea, trying to look back instead of looking forward. I continue to learn the importance of those words Jesus spoke in Matthew, instructing us to build our houses on the Rock and not on the sand. The sand shifts. Anything that is not Christ will shift, change, allow me to fall.

My favorite author, Shauna Niequist, has a new book coming out in August that is specifically about change and I feel as though she was writing it just for me:

‘When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate, and when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.‘ -Shauna Niequist, 'Bittersweet'

So here's to the new normal, accepting it, and beginning to learn to love it. Cheers.

And the picture is a hat-tip to the old that I miss...

Unexpected Seasons

2010-02-11T21:23:00.000-08:00

There is something magical about snow, something magical in the unexpected and rare. As I've sat here all afternoon and watched it snow and snow, creating this pure and pristine canvas of glimmers, I just can't get over the calming effect it has. Slowly the snow continually drifts down, softly taking its place on the blanket and adding another sparkle to the beautiful picture forming.

As I looked out over the covered patches of grass, beautiful white perfection shone back at me and all I could do was worship the God whose idea it was, these white flurries from the sky.

He is the great Giver of seasons, both in weather and in life. Just as some are constant and predictable, others surprise you in the best way possible. They are brief but they are sweet. Others are long and extended, but oh so familiar. The short and unexpected may leave before you're ready, but you can trust that the Author of the seasons know their schedule well. It is these short and unexpected seasons, like this snow, that surprise us, stop us, and remind us to in fact worship their Author, our great God and Creator.

We Won't Forget

2009-09-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

This is a day we won't forget.

The Favorites: Old School Edition

2009-09-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

I want to preface this post by saying that this list is in no way exhaustive. As mentioned in previous posts, our playroom literally overflowed with movies when I was growing up. After a recent scavenger session in that very room and seeing all of the worn cases, I realized how many of those movies I actually watched over and over again. Those mentioned below are some of the standouts.

I would really love to know who else grew up watching this movie. It's a kid-classic as far as I'm concerned. Who can forget crazy mountain man who made Kid Colter drink skunkberry tea because he said it'd put hair on his legs?! Brilliant writing. This is the story of a nerdy boy from Boston who goes to visit his dad in the Pacific Northwest during a Boston teacher's strike. In the process of being there, he ends up being kidnapped and has to survive in the wild. Very gripping, I'm telling you. I would love to extend an invitation to anyone who hasn't seen this excellent example of filmmaking to come over and view it any time. It'll change your life.

I LOVED the Ewok adventures. I thought Wickit was the absolute most adorable thing ever...the stuffed animal every little girl wants. I do think it's kind of strange that I never saw any of the Star Wars movies but I loved the Ewok movies. Go figure. I really loved this one and another one...can't remember it's name...but do remember watching them over and over.

I recently bought the Faerie Tale Theater on DVD. I was absolutely thrilled when it came in the mail. There are 26 hour-long episodes of different fairy tales from childhood. What makes these stand out is that all of them include award-winning actors and actresses and were made for HBO, I believe. Very quality stuff here, people. My favorites were 'Hansel & Gretel,' 'Little Red Riding Hood,' and 'Rapunzel.' H&G had Joan Collins as the evil stepmother and the witch...she was absolutely horrifying. LRRH has Mary Steenburgen as RRH as she is great. Rapunzel has Gena Rowlands as the witch and let me tell you, I STILL have nightmares after I watch that one. Her voice is insanely creepy!!!!

Now, most everyone that is of our generation has seen ET (ET phone home!), but not everyone has witnessed the brilliant product placement alien film of 'Mac & Me.' The choreographed dance in the McDonald's is worth watching the entire film for. I will warn you that if you watch this movie, you will immediately begin craving Coca Cola, Skittles, and McDonald's. I told you...brilliant product placement. Gets me every time...

Oh, this movie. I love this movie. I think alot of that love is directly related to my love of Fred Savage, but regardless, I remember watching this movie over and over as a kid. Centered around playing the original Nintendo, which was all the rage back then, this is a crazy unbelievable story about a mute boy who is a wizard at Nintendo running away from some random social worker of something. Strange. For those of you who have seen this, please tell me you remember the power glove scene! Oh, how dramatic...

No list of mine would be complete without this movie. All of you who know me well are laughing right now because you know my love of this ridiculous film. This is the French cover of a movie called 'Here Comes Santa Claus.' Oh yes. I know that you're probably thinking, "Oh, there must be 2 versions that they made and she had the English one." No. Not really. They just overdubbed the French version with English so the moving mouths don't match the words. :) I love this movie. It is a musical Christmas tale that is completely irrational and 100% cheesy. And I. don't. care. I have watched this movie every single Christmas since I was 4. I promise. We have a home video of me as a 4-year-old sitting on the couch singing along to this movie, heard very prominently in the background. I believe I even took it to school for us to watch in 4th grade. Oh, the shame. But hey, it's just not Christmas without 'Here Comes Santa Claus.'

Were any of these your favorites? What would you have added to the list?

The Favorites

2009-08-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

Continuing on with the lists of favorites, this is the list of my all-time favorite movies. Let's just dive in...

I first saw this movie when I was about 12 years old. I was laying in the floor of our living room and I remember absolutely falling in love with it. I loved how they talked, I loved how funny it was, and I loved seeing the relationships built between the women. This movie such an honest portrayal of female relationships, as well as including just about every emotion imaginable. I will tell you that it's not much fun to watch this movie with me, as I quote all the lines along with the characters. Just a fair warning. I also found out in college that my roommate's grandmother was the real life version of one of the characters, as this was written based on a true story. Unreal.

I remember the day we got this movie. My uncle sent it to my mom for her birthday and my love affair with 'The Sound of Music' began. This movie is a classic, recently being named in the top 10 of the American Film Institute's Top 100 movies. There is singing and dancing set to the historical backdrop of WW2. If you know me at all, you know why that is the perfect movie for me.

I saw this movie on a whim with my mom in the theater and proceeded to return two more times following to see it again. It is a magical experience. Baz Luhrmann's direction is impeccable and Nicole Kidman shines in this modern musical. I'm still upset she didn't win the Oscar she was nominated for in this movie. She deserved it. I love the movie's tag line: "The greatest thing is just to love and be loved in return." Beautiful.

Seriously, what twenty-something girl doesn't LOVE 'Anne of Green Gables'? We all love this movie. I think it has alot to do with Gilbert Blythe and the love story between he and Anne. It's a classic one. I just love the wholesome nature of this film, the high value placed on friendship, and the high-spirited personality of Anne. It also helped me on a college English exam since I memorized 'The Lady of Shalot' after watching this movie over and over.

One thing is for certain: Sandra Bullock has the ability to make me laugh at any given moment during any possible mood. She's hilarious and this film is the quintessential example of her hilarity. No female does physical comedy like Sandy. She is fearless in her willingness to make a fool of herself for the sake of a laugh and I love her for that. This movie will forever make me want to start chanting, "You think I'm gorgeous. You want to date me, love me, and marry me..."

I.LOVE.THIS.MOVIE. Simple as that. Meg and Tom are a classic coupling and the real darling of this film is New York City. It is absolutely impossible to not want to visit after you see this visit. Essentially, this movie is a love letter to the city that America is known for. That mixed with the oh-so-delightful chemistry of Tom and Meg makes for one extremely pleasant and warm movie experience.

"You can't handle the TRUTH!!!!!" I mean who doesn't know that line. That's a great line. With a great cast, a great director, and great writing, 'A Few Good Men' is a classic American film. This is easily my favorite film of Tom Cruise's. He take on Daniel Caffey is pitch-perfect and the supporting cast around him of the brilliant Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore, Kevin Bacon, and Keiffer Sutherland creates a cast that is absolutely fantastic. The legal maneuvering exhibited is extremely entertaining to watch as well as the interactions amongst Cruise and Moore.

There you have it. My all-time faves. There are quite a few more that would serve as runner's up, but this is the winning list. What are your favorites?

Addiction

2009-08-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this video with you, the reader, for 2 reasons:

1) This is an incredibly moving performance and a great example of how art serves as a healing tool.
2) To support my statements and promotion regarding the show 'So You Think You Can Dance.'

Dance: Addiction
Dancers: Kayla & Kupono
Choreographer: Mia Michaels

Meaning: Kupono is the addiction and Kayla is the addict. This is a visual representation of the pervasive power of addiction and the hold it places upon those who are stuck in it. Kupono is the utter personification of evil as the addiction with his malevolent grins and piercing eyes. Kayla represents the completely addiction-ravaged girl that is so common in our society, held captive by the claws of her addiction.

Shows of Yester-Year...

2009-08-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to the shows of my childhood that I loved. As I was beginning to write this, I realized those shows all had something in common: theme songs!! I bet I can still sing the theme songs for each of these. Why don't shows do that anymore?! Ah, the nostalgia of a day gone by...

Okay, here we go!

Ah, The Wonder Years. I LOVED this show. I was in love with Kevin Arnold and wanted my hair to look like Winnie Cooper's. I am very frustrated that you still can't get this show on DVD. It has something to do with all the licensing rights due to the amount of popular music they used within the show. Apparently it's still going to be years before Joe Cocker is crooning "What would you do if I sang out of tune..." from my DVD player. Oh well, I guess there's always TVLand and re-runs...

Isn't this the classic favorite show of our generation? Didn't we all race home after school to see what antics Zack would pull, what outfit Lisa was wearing, and how long Slater's mullet had gotten? I did. I am proud to say I have seen every episode of this show far more than once and can perform Jessie's "I'm SO excited, I'm SO excited, I'm....SO...SCARED" with the best of them. Classic television, ladies and gentlemen. While most have gone on to do other things, I think in our minds they will always be Zack, Kelly, Slater, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech.

This image is representative of the show 'Family Matters' and my favorite character on the show, Steve Urckel. At the age of 10, I would walk around leaning back at the waist, plugging my nose, and asking in my best Urckel voice, "Did I do thaaaaaaaat?" I'm sure I drove my parents crazy. I loved this show. I loved the family dynamics, the drama, the incessant breaking of things that Steve was doing, and the relationship between Steve and Carl Winslow. Again, classic TGYF night at my house.

"Everywhere you look, there's a heart, there's a heart...." I was recently in San Francisco and for sure sang this theme song to myself as I was riding the BART line to the airport. Who doesn't love the show that's known for making the Olsen twins famous, Bob Saget one-liners, and Uncle Jesse proclaiming, "Have mercy!"? I propose that on some level, everyone loves this show. I used to, again, walk around impersonating Stephanie Tanner, saying, "How rude!" all the time. It's amazing that I didn't grow up to be an impersonator, because let me tell you, I did this type of thing all the time with ALL the shows I watched. I know. Bless my mom.

"Camp Onawanna, we hold you in our hearts..." I was a Nickelodeon child growing up, so shows like 'Salute Your Shorts', 'Hey Dude', and 'Are You Afraid of the Dark' were apart of my repetoire as well. There were also those show like 'Legends of the Hidden Temple', 'Guts', 'What Would You Do', and 'All That' that I loved as well. During those long summer days at home from school, Nickelodeon provided quite the respite when it was too hot to be out jumping on the trampoline. Thanks, Nick!!

This final show is actually my favorite show of all time. It wasn't something I started watching until the 8th grade, but it was a show that I watched growing up and is no longer in production, thus the reason for it being on this list. For me, 'Friends' was an escape. During those challenging high school years of peer pressure, feeling awkward, pressure regarding sports I was participating in, and all the other challenges of high school that I wasn't emotionally intelligent enough to handle, 'Friends' was my outlet. It was 30 minutes that I could escape and go to another world of coffee shops and cool apartments in a city far away from my own. Over the years, I really did grow to love these 6 characters. I will always remember where I was when I watched the series finale, crying as I said goodbye to the 6 that had provided laughs on so many hard days.

Disclaimer: You can choose to make fun of me here. I know I'm being a bit sappy. Now I am emotionally intelligent enough to handle tough situations without a cast of characters on a television show, but at the time I wasn't and I needed something to serve as an escape. I would propose that on some level we all do that when things are hard. We go running, some resort to destructive vices such as mass alcohol consumption, etc. I chose a TV show. I was already running up to 60 miles a week for school. Running wasn't going to help me...

There you have it. My favorite shows of childhood. I bet they're pretty similar to many of yours. What are some others you would have added?

'Tennessee calls my name from the horizon...'

2009-08-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

I will be returning to the city my heart deeply loves in 2 weeks. Nashville, here I come!

Stops will be made at: Fido (best coffeeshop in the entire world), The Phunky Griddle (where you make your own pancakes), Whole Foods (because I want to see Nicole & Keith like my sister's friend did), The Village Chapel (sister's church), Merridee's Breadbasket (best sandwiches...ever), and Athens (go Greek!).

Home is where the heart is.

**The title to the post is a lyric from my friend Zach Hendricks' song 'When She Sings'. Download his album on iTunes...you'll love it!

Don't get 'Lost' in the 'Fringe' and be sure to study 'Grey's Anatomy' before going into 'Private Practice'....

2009-08-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

This post is to shamelessly plug the television shows that I love. If you've known me long at all, I'm sure I've initiated some form of conversation with you regarding pop culture, more specifically television shows. I love pop culture. I really do. And always have.

I have very clear memories and nostalgic feelings related to the movies and television shows I watched as a kid. I think it had something to do with the fact that my uncle worked for a video distribution company and we were constantly getting HUGE shipments of all these movies. Literally, movies overflowed out of our "playroom" when I was younger. And I, the young impressionable child, was forever addicted to the medium of the talkies, both the big and small screen versions.

I like this idea of a list because it allows for multiple posts. This post will be dedicated to the current television shows I love. Posts to come: back-in-the-day favorite shows, current favorite movies, and back-in-the-day favorite movies.

*Disclaimer: These are not in any particular order. I just can't decide which I like better.

LOST

One word: ridiculous. This show is incredible. It's like watching a giant puzzle be put together while you're all the while trying to guess the next move. The theological overtones are so fun to think through, the character development is smart and thorough, and the plotline is always surprising. Excellence, folks.

Grey's Anatomy

While I can't say that I'm very fond of the moral road taken by most of the characters on this show, I will say that their character development is equally excellent. I also have to give props to GA for the vast array of surprising medical knowledge I've acquired. I'll never forget the day my sweet labor & delivery nurse friend, Meredith (see previous post), was shocked by the fact that I knew what 'pushing rounds of epi' meant. Shocked. She was even more shocked to find out that I'd learned it from a TV show. Who says you can't learn anything from television?

American Idol

I've been a faithful follower of this show since season 4, the season in which Carrie Underwood ruled the stage. I think I was officially hooked the night she belted out 'Alone' by Heart like it was no big deal and absolutely NAILED every note. I thought to myself, "Oh okay, these people are serious." I'm pretty sure I re-watched that performance about 127 times. Ever since, I'm pretty much an AI trivia machine. Go ahead...try to stump me...

Private Practice

The only reason I watch this show is because Addison, played by Kate Walsh, was my favorite character on Grey's Anatomy (see above). When she left to have her own show, pulling a Seinfeld, I had to follow. Watching the character of Addison makes me want to be very, very good at my job. The girl straight up dominates the neo-natal scene. It's very fun watching a woman have utter authority in her profession and owning every second of it...or at least pretending to on screen...

It is all about Jack Bauer. You're in a burning bus. Who do you want around? Jack Bauer. You're being held hostage. Who do you want scouting the situation? Jack Bauer. Terrorists are attacking. Who do you want in charge? Jack. Bauer. The man is unstoppable and it is oh-so-fun to watch!

Fringe

This is my newest favorite. I really didn't get into it until this summer (thank goodness for Hulu!) and was absolutely sold after about 3 episodes. Creepy weird parapsychology mixed with cute Joshua Jackson...who doesn't want to watch that?!

So You Think You Can Dance

Now that everyone else if finally beginning to understand the brilliance of this show (it's won 2 Emmy's!), it has been moved from the summer line-up to the fall, essentially becoming Fox's fall version of American Idol. The dancers are absolutely phenomenal and the choreography is out of this world. Seriously. It will blow you away. This past season saw the triumph of Jeanine, with my favorite Brandon taking second. We saw issues such as breast cancer and addiction addressed. 2 more Emmy awards...mark my words. And Cat Deeley, the host, makes Ryan Seacrest look like an awkward schoolboy. Her genuine connection with the dancers is so endearing and very pleasant to watch.

Those are some of my current favorites. What do you love?

A Seperate Peace

2009-08-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

Okay all, back to a book review. Next up: 'A Seperate Peace' by John Knowles.

For some reason, ever since high school I had always wanted to read this book. In freshman engligh we were assigned a differenct classic in group of 3 or 4 to read and discuss together, then present to the class. I, unfortunately, was assigned 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley. I will not be reviewing that book on this blog. I hated it. For my 14-year-old mind, reading about babies being mass-produced in test tubes was not appealing. However, when my friends who read this book by John Knowles presented, my interests were drawn.

This book is about 2 boys at a boarding school during WW2. (I know you're starting to sense the theme, here...) I don't what it was about their presentation of the storyline, but it always seemed interesting and I made a mental note to read it at some point in my lifetime. Well, that point has now come and gone.

I read this last month and thought it was pretty good. I'm certainly not going to do it justice after the many reviews it's received. After all, it's a classic. If I'm being honest, there were definitely times that I was bored. I know that I was supposed to be soaking in all the literary elements that I am sure were used masterfully by Mr. Knowles, but I just wasn't diggin' on it. For me, there was too much description of landscape, too much of the psychological elements occurring being left up to interpretation by the reader. I don't want to interpret, John. I want you to delve into the deep psychological issues you're hinting at and really give me something gripping to think through. I don't want to have to guess at what your alluding to. Sorry.

I'm sure that's very anti-literature appreciation of me, but that's kind of how I felt as I read along. Don't get me wrong, the story was great. There were just some things I felt like yelling at the author in the process of reading it. All in all, I will say that this would be one that would be better read alongside other people. I feel discussion would greatly aid in one's appreciation of this work.

Bookmarks: 3 out of 5

Perils of the Job Search

2009-08-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Well folks, the perils of the job search continue. I must admit that either hearing 'no' or actually never hearing back from anyone at all has left me feeling a bit like this little girl: upset, crying, and in general wondering what's going on.

Now, I understand that I'm trying to find a new job at something that I'm new at in some of the worst economic times in recent history, perhaps in my own lifetime. I get that. Many people have felt it necessary to remind me of this fact. But, let me just say this: it's not really that comforting. Why is that, do you ask? Because peeps won't even call me back. Because of this, my lack of new job status can't be about me blowing an interview, offending the interviewer, or royally putting my foot in my mouth. I haven't even been given the chance to do any of those things and I'm still without a job with the word 'counselor' or 'therapist' in the title. And all this because of the stupid economy? Not comforting.

Did that sound a little bitter? I do apologize. I don't mean to be. I'm just blowing off a little steam. It was just this morning that yet another position that I applied for was filled. A position that I applied for, followed up regarding, and yet never even spoke to an actual person about. The little robotic lady at their HR number and I had fun little conversations, but at the end of the day, she's not the one giving out the jobs.

I do trust that one day the Lord will provide a job in the field that I attended school for, but until that day, maybe I'll go learn how to be a scuba instructor or something...

Something New, Something Different...

2009-08-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

My dear, sweet friend Meredith informed me yesterday that when I would start writing about something other than books, she might start reading my blog. Now, if you know Mer at all, you know she hasn't got one malicious bone in her body, and that she was quite obviously joking because of the following reason. She's not a fan of reading, much preferring to do anything and everything related to engaging with people as opposed to sitting quietly engrossed in paper with words on it. Because of this, reading a bunch of blog posts about books, regardless of how much she loves her friend, is about as fun as having, oh, a root canal or something. Therefore, in an effort to both a) attract more readers and b) break up the repitition of the book reviews, I've decided to do something new, something different. Mer, this post is for you, girl. No book talk in sight.

The beauty of doing book reviews is that it allows me to think creatively in how to craft the sentences without having to actually generate creative ideas. Because my life for the last 3 months or so has been a great deal of monotony and boring routine, I struggle to find any life events that are really very blog-worthy, if you will. So, I decided to make a list. Lists are fun. Lists allow for the witty.

Here goes. List numero uno. (See Mer, I know a little, or un piquito, of spanish...)

Top 10 Places I Want to Travel to Now That I Am No Longer A Student...

10. Nashville
If you have ever had a conversation with me regarding future life plans, you know that this is where my heart is. The only reason it's number 10 is because I've been many times and it will remain a constant on the list, no matter how many times I go. I'm always asked, "Why Nashville?" and "What's so special about Nashville?". My answer: I have no idea. It just feels like home to me.

9. Greece
This is for 2 reasons: the food and the white washed houses on the cliffs. I mean, seriously. Who doesn't want to eat some awesome lamb while overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean from one of those white-washed restaurants?! This girl most certainly does.

8. Ireland
The movie P.S. I Love You is to blame for this one. The panoramic shots in that movie of the beautiful Irish countryside were so breathtaking that I cried during the movie. I want to go there, go to one of the pubs, get a glass of Guinness (although I probably won't like it, but hey! you're in Ireland!), and take alot of pictures. And maybe learn the accent...

7. Jerusalem
Quite simply, I want to see it. I want to see all the places that I've spent years studying and reading about. I want to understand the significance of things to a more fundamental level by seeing these places with my own eyes. I want to see the garden, I want to see the road He carried the cross down...I want to see it.

6. London
London, baby!! Many things here are appealing in the land across the pond. I want to have English tea, go see if I can find Diagon Alley because I'm sure the Harry Potter people really do exist, go to Notting Hill and take my picture with the scenes from the movie, see Buckingham Palace, Big Ben...the list could go on. I've heard London's awesome.

5. Milan
I have roots in Italy (laugh it up, Mer :) ) and would love to see the Motherland. I'm jealous because my sister has already been on a tour of Italy and I've yet to place on toe in the place. I don't know why Milan first...I kinda want to see all the fashion stuff too...

4. Austria
"The hills are alive with the sound of music...." The Sound of Music tour. Easily one the things I want to do most right now. I was just telling my mom the other day that I remember the day she got "The Sound of Music" in the mail as a gift from my uncle. I think I might have been 5 or 6. No lie, ever since then, my love of that movie has remained a constant. There were many days in college spent studying to the backdrop of Julie Andrews singing "Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ray, a drop of golden sun..." I just want to be there and soak it all in. And I also want to see WW2 spots, but more on that later.

3. St. John
I will say that I have already been to the number 3 spot, but it was that wonderful to be named again on the list. I was 13 the last time I went and I think now at 25 I would have a much greater appreciation for the relaxation potential encapsulated in that tiny island. And you won't find better seafood. I mean, whoa! It is right outta the water good. The freshness of the fish mixed with the bursts of flavor in the fruit make for an unmatched combo.

2. New York City
I literally could go on and on and on and on.....about all the reasons why I want to visit this fantastic city. I feel like I've been there already since NYC has become a character in and of itself in pop culture. I want to go see musicals on Broadway and be moved to tears, go eat at restaurants by Bobby Flay and Gordon Ramsay, visit places that were in movies like 'You've Got Mail', '2 Weeks Notice', and 'Sleepless in Seattle,' go to the Empire State Building, Ellis Island, the Twin Towers Memorial. The list could continue. I've heard NYC is a magical place unlike anywhere else and I can't wait to experience it for myself.

And now, for the #1 spot, the spot that if someone just gave me money and said "Go anywhere" I would choose.....

1. Amsterdam
If you read my previous post or if you know me well, you know of my life-long fascination with the Holocaust, most specifically the Frank family and the Secret Annex in Amsterdam. The Frank family, the Van Pels family , and Fritz Pfeffer all hid in an attic of Otto Frank's office building in Amsterdam. That attic has been turned into a museum, containing memorabilia from the Frank family and still boasting Anne's original wall hangings of all her favorite film stars of the time. Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to see these small crowded rooms in person. One day I'll go and see it. And I might buy some wooden shoes. And some pretty tulips. Holland's famous for them and they're my favorite!

There you have it. My top ten. Just thinking about all these places makes me anxious to travel. Soon and very soon.

So I'm curious. What are your top 10?

The Hidden Life of Otto Frank

2009-08-06T11:49:00.001-07:00

If you know me well, you know that I have an intense fascination with the Holocaust, particularly the story of the Frank family. I remember as a young girl in elementary school reading Anne's diary and any other book I could find about her. I think it was hard for my little 10-year-old brain to comprehend that a girl just like me had to hide in one room with her whole family for 2 years, only to die in a concentration camp 3 weeks before the Allies liberated their camp. At this point, my 25-year-old brain is still captivated by the story and will read anything that will shed more insight into the lives of these extraordinary people.

Next up: 'The Hidden Life of Otto Frank' by Carol Ann Lee.

I happened upon this book one day on one of my random Barnes & Noble stops. I don't remember what I was looking for, but I just happened to see this one. I pulled it off the shelf and was instantly mesmerized by the claim that was made on the back of the jacket. This book was going to reveal the name of the person that had betrayed the Frank family, something I had been curious about for 15 years. Naturally, I immediately went to the cash register and bought it. Due to the crazy work load of my last semester of seminary, I was only just able to read this book a few weeks ago, but it was well worth the wait.

From the moment I began reading, I was completely engrossed. I hadn't ever read much about Otto, Anne's father, seeing as most of the literature about their family is focused solely upon Anne. However, this book proved to be an absolutely fascinating read, providing much needed background and insight into family dynamics from an adult perspective that helped to understand significance of events that I had read about previously in other books. The book begins with Otto's childhood in Germany and follows him through his life at a rather quick pace, slowing to really dig in after the family moves to Amsterdam in the 1930's when Hitler was rising to power in their native Germany.

The story follows Otto through his entire life, including very closely detailed accounts of his time in Auschwitz and his journey back to Holland after the war was over. Through all of it, a man named Tonny Ahlers plays a very key role, as it seems he blackmailed Otto Frank from very early on in the war until seemingly the day he died. Ahlers was a well-known anti-Semitic and friend of the German occupiers in Holland, well know in Amsterdam for betraying Jews he knew to be in hiding. Throughout the book, it would seem that Tonny Ahlers was the man who betrayed the Frank family, knowing early on about their hiding place and only letting them stay in order to continue to blackmail Otto. However, the final chapter in the book drops a starting bombshell, revealing that the person that called the SS that day in August of 1944 to betray the Frank family was actually a woman. That woman was Tonny Ahler's wife.

If you are at all interested in WW2, the Holocaust, or history in general, read this book. It's fantastic.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 bookmarks

The Book of Fred

2009-08-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

Interesting story, this book. This interesting cover has been on my bookshelf for no less than 4 years and quite possibly many more. I bought in on one of my many Barnes & Noble binges (one of my very favorite things to do) and have just never gotten around to reading it. I must admit...there are many books in my bookcase with a very similar history. Let's just say I'm working on it.

Next up: 'The Book of Fred' by Abby Bardi.

This book was not at all what I expected. With a cover like this, I expected some quirky, loveably odd book about...I don't know...fish? And possibly fish named Fred. Wrong. Believe it or not, this book is about religious cults and the effect they have on people. I know, I know....seriously?! Yes, seriously. Let's just say the jacket illustrator took some of the most random elements in the story and put them together to make a catchy cover...regardless of if is insightful into the storyline. Whatever.

The book is about a girl named Mary Fred. Her last name isn't really Fred, but everyone in their cult has to have the name of Fred somewhere in their own name, as it was the name of their founder. The book begins with Mary Fred and her many siblings being taken away from their parents as their parents are incarcerated for neglect after 2 of their children die. All of their children are then put into the foster system. The bulk of the story from this point is about Mary Fred adjusting to life outside a cultic atomosphere, including watching television and shopping for the first time at 14 years old.

The family she lives with consists of a sweet woman who works in the library, her daughter who is the same age as Mary Fred, and the mom's drug-addicted brother. The chapters are broken up to be taken from the point of view of each of the different characters, producing a very well-rounded perspective of the events taking place. This is where the real charm of this book is located. Observing the relationships built between Mary Fred and each of the members of the household is both endearing and intriguing as Mary Fred slowly assimilates into the life of a normal 14 year old girl.

The end of the book provides some real suspense as Mary Fred's mother is released and attempts to take her to the new cult she has joined, but comes full circle back to the foster home that has officially become Mary Fred's home. In the end, I was surprised by this book. It was far different from what I had expected and raised some good questions about needing to know why we believe what we believe.

I'm going to implement a new rating system, if for no other reason than my own entertainment.

'The Book of Fred': 3.5 out of 5 bookmarks

Fall On Your Knees

2009-07-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

i think that ann-marie mcdonald is a brilliant writer. i eagerly await her next publication, as i have allowed myself to get lost in the two worlds she has created thus far. her character development is extraordinary. her dialogue, pitch-perfect. in short, a literary haven.

next on the list: 'fall on your knees' by ann-marie mcdonald.

i struggle to know where to begin describing this book. it completely caught me off guard, drew me in, and shocked me in the end. i will say that i feel i'm a rather perceptive reader and find that i am rarely shocked by an ending that is smart and actually makes sense. this one, although extremely shocking, was one that definitely threw me for a loop.

what i love about mcdonald's writing is that it attains the perfect balance. there is never any superfluous information that you have to skim over and yet you never find yourself clamoring for more detail either. i love that and it is a rare find.

this book is a story of 4 sisters, the piper sisters, in nova scotia at the turn of the 20th century. their dad is caucasian, their mom is persian, and that balance during that time period often causes the girls to struggle knowing where they fit. they are cut off from their mother's side of the family, as they disown her when she marries a white man. their dad's family is dead. so it is their family unit alone that makes up their family. with a father who is obsessed with his oldest daughter's vocal talent and a mother who has become almost mute due to her husband's abuse, this is a story of how the girls struggle to grow up apart from any real guidance other than what they give one another.

the relationships between the sisters is what drives this book, especially the relationship between the two middle sisters, mercedes and frances. as their mother's death forces mercedes to conform to the mother role and frances continues to feel the need to protect the youngest in any way possible, the heart and drama of the story unfolds.

the pages turn themselves in this story. there is a driving pulse that is motivated by absolutely incredible character development that is addictive. the end is quite shocking, so i wouldn't recommend this to everyone, but will say that if you can get past some of the controversial subject matter, this book is one that will keep you thinking for a few days.

and hey, oprah recommends it, so it's gotta be good, right? :)

Murder on Lenox Hill

2009-07-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

i will admit this up front. i only bought this book because it was on sale for 1 dolla' and i wanted a light mystery read. i thought a buck a book was a good deal.

next on the list: 'murder on lenox hill' by victoria thompson.

this book was okay. if you want a murder mystery for a semi-engaging beach read, i MAY recommend this one. it wasn't my favorite. it was really hard for me to get in to and then once i sorta did, the ending is extremely predictable. so much so that you keep thinking, surely, surely, that's not going to be the ending. oh, but it is, my friends!

this book takes place in new york city back in the day. like horse and buggy days. hence the series name of 'the gaslight mysteries'. sara brandt is from a well-to-do family of money in the early days of new york city. a widow, the tale of another book in the series apparently, sara strays from her society ways to work as a midwife. this was apparently not an occupation that was well respected in those days.

in this particular story, there are 2 plotlines woven together. one being the obvious...the murder on lenox hill. the other, the impregnation of a mentally challenged 17-year-old girl. how, you might ask, are these 2 plots woven together? not very well, i would answer. i won't go into the details because i don't think i'd recommend this book to anyone. but, because i read it and i'm sticking to my new "writing about every book i read" blog kick, i felt obligated to write a post about it. however, YOU should not feel obligated to read this book. save yourself the time and yo' dolla'!! go buy yourself a 1 dolla' hot fudge sundae at mcdonald's instead!! :)

Cold Tangerines

2009-07-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

okay, next on the list: 'cold tangerines' by shauna niequist.

this summer, you need to read this book. simply put, it's wonderful. in reading it, i felt like i was being hugged by a friend. it spoke deeply and directly to my heart. read it. it's delightful.

this book is shauna's first and it is an absolutely wonderful collection of essays about life, celebration, and finding joy and significance in the little moments, the everyday moments of life. there are stories that will have you lauging out loud, as shauna's wit is spot on. there are stories that will have you crying, identifying with deep moments of pain and tender memories shared with the reader. there are stories that will inspire you as shauna gets to the root and the heart of what truly matters in life.

in reading this book, it feels like you've made a new friend. shauna writes in such a way that reading her stories makes you feel as though you're sitting at a table with her, drinking good coffee, and learning from the immense wisdom this woman possesses. her writing comes off as though you're having a conversation with her and let me tell you, it's one worth having.

'cold tangerines' is the only book i've ever cared to read more than once. in fact, i've read it many times and am reminded of something new each time. it is refreshing, wise, funny, and real. read it. you'll love it. once you read it, you'll want to share it. it makes a great gift. go buy it, wrap a ribbon around it, and share the wonderful warmth of 'cold tangerines' with a friend.

The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox

2009-07-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

wow. it's been so long since i've blogged. i think i was creatively worn out from all the writing i was doing at school, BUT i'm feeling rejuvinated and have been creatively inspired with an idea.

i love to read. it is one of my very favorite pastimes. i lose myself in the stories and characters and their lives. i feel i've been a million places, not because i've traveled extensively, but because i dive into books as often as i can.

once i finish a book, i find that i always want to talk about it with someone and share in the wonderful story together. i'm not one for book clubs. i don't like being confined to a schedule. solution? write about the book on my blog. perfection.

with that being said, i have a few books to catch up on, as i've been reading like a crazy woman this summer after having graduated from seminary and have the freedom to read fiction again.

the first book to start this new creative outlet: the vanishing act of esme lennox by maggie o'farrell.

let me start off by saying this book is heartbreaking. working within the mental health field, i felt especially connected to the story line of this book, both from the viewpoint of esme and of iris. esme has spent her life in a mental health institution in scotland and iris is her relationally distant family member a few generations removed. upon the closing of the hospital where esme has spent most of her life, the lot falls on iris to determine the best course of action and living situation for this family member she barely knows and in many ways is fearful of. the relationship between the 2 women is what makes the book worth reading, as are the confused wanderings through the psyche of esme.

i gobbled this book up. seriously, within 3 days i think i had it finished. o'farrell's writing style is addictive and her character development causes such empathy that the reader is immediately invested in the storyline.

with beautiful descriptions of the scottish landscape coupled with the social commentary of the mental health systems of the past, this is a read for anyone who likes a good character piece.

and, as i read this about 4 books ago, that's all the detail that comes to immediate memory. :)

Seriously...

2007-11-07T10:50:00.001-08:00

This has been a few years ago, but my gosh...it doesn't get much better than this.

One word...WOW.

Fellowship a la Italia

2007-11-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

A few months ago some of my friends and I decided it would be fun to have a fellowship evening of home-made Italian food. While the majority of our time was spent in the kitchen, it was one of the sweetest times of fellowship I've had in a long time. It made me almost wish I lived in a different era, one in which there were no televisions, cell phones, and internet, a time when the company of people you cherish was the best way to spend an evening. That connection with people is so much sweeter than wasting away evenings and weeks and years with the distraction of a television.

The two friends in the pictures with me are Meredith and David. Meredith is one of my closest and dearest friends whose precious friendship I treasure. David is such a blessing in my life as well, as it is so nice to have solid and kind guy friends in our lives. I am so thankful for these 2 and wanted to share the pictures from that lovely evening.

Welcome to Aggieland

2007-11-02T07:17:00.001-07:00

This should portray what I was trying to express below.

"Some may boast a prowess bold
Of a school they think so grand
But there's a spirit can ne'er be told
It's the spirit of Aggieland..."

Thanks and Gig'em

2007-10-29T06:59:00.000-07:00

I went back to College Station this past weekend to go watch my Ags BTHO KU. While the results of the football game were quite disappointing, I was reminded yet again just how much I love my school. With all the traditions, friendly people, and a mindset of a time much simpler, it is such a safe haven in such an in-your-face world.

There really is no place quite like Texas A&M University and I am so thankful that it was in that place that the Lord placed me for my four years of college.

There is no real way for me to begin to describe what makes this place so special to so many. You just have experience it.

One small example that made me smile this weekend happened before the football game Saturday afternoon. One of the people that went down with us was someone's family member from Kansas. Decked out in his blue and red, Steven was very obviously a KU fan amongst the sea of maroon. And yet, rather than heckle him like so many other college campuses would have done, an old Ag who looked like he belonged to a class from the 1940's approached Steven and said, " Son, we're glad to have you here." I just looked on and smiled. With its down-home feel, Aggieland waits eagerly with open arms to welcome all who come to visit.

God bless Texas A&M and my Aggies. Thanks and gig'em. Whoop.

Streetsinger

2007-10-12T12:15:00.001-07:00

Okay, first of all, I want to be able to sing like the girl in this video. I mean seriously...who wouldn't? She can straight up JAM and I feel as though the Lord created my soul with a huge desire to be able to do this.

But, until a voice like this magically appears, I will resign myself to jamming with Eden and pretending it's me singing like a Broadway rock star. Rock on, sister.

By the way, her name is Eden Espinosa and this is a song from the Broadway musical, Brooklyn. Eden is a believer living out her faith in the Broadway arena. You go girl.

Nashville

2007-10-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I really want to live here. This city is just incredible. I have lived in Dallas my entire life, and with each passing day I become more and more aware of the fact that I really don't want to spend the rest of my life here. The world is far too vast, exciting, and diverse to spend one's entire life in the same place.

My sister lives in Nashville right now and I L O V E going to see her up there. The city is so exciting with all the live music, record labels, and incredibly strong churches. The one drawback is its distance from a beach, but I figure it isn't any farther than I am from a GOOD beach in Dallas.

I feel at home in Nashville. I don't know what it is about that city, but I love it. The prayer process has commenced on this topic, and will continue until I finish school. Then, we'll see where I'm led.

"And I whispered a prayer as I embraced a new day..." 'Remember', Watermark

Stillness

2007-10-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I've never really thought of myself as a blogger. However, due to the influx of knowledge that I am receiving at school and really no proper outlet in which to express the things in which I am thinking, I decided I might go ahead and give this thing a try.

I'm calling it 'Solace in Stillness' because really, with how busy life is at the current juncture, stillness is a rare commodity, thus providing all the more solace, comfort, peace, etc.

What pushed me over the edge and made me decide to start this today is that I heard a song lyric this morning that I loved and wanted to share. It's from a Watermark song, which, if you know me at all, is pretty typical. I love Watermark. It's like Christy has read what is on my heart and in my mind and put those ideas and thoughts into songs for me. Perfect.

The lyric is from their song 'Still' off of the Constant album. This just might be my favorite song of theirs, although that is such a hard call to make. The first verse of the song goes like this:

"The more I get alone the more I see I need to get alone more
Cause just when I think that I'm alone Your Spirit calls out to me
And even silence has a song cause that's when You come sing over me."

How beautiful is that?! Christy, you're brilliant.

I love the idea of being still and being quiet and allowing the Lord to whisper sweetly to your soul. So often in our busy lives, we are constantly on the go with errands to run, people to see, and tasks to accomplish, that we don't take that time to be still and just simply BE in the presence of the Lord. What sweet and precious times we miss when that happens. I find that so much of the confusion and stress in my life comes when I don't take time to stop, sit, and allow the Spirit to wash over me, providing clarity in comfort in those challenging times. In essence, I think of myself as sufficient to handle the stress. How wrong I am. Basically, I agree with Christy. 'The more I get alone the more I see I need to get alone more.' It can't be said any better than that.

Solace in stillness is one of the many comforts our loving Father provides His children. What a precious gift.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." -Psalm 46:10