the lone bellow.

So have you ever experienced that thing that happens when your soul crashes into your skin and you realize that you want to express more than your body will allow you to? That thing that makes you want to fling your arms open just to get it out or fist pump or yell or shake someone and say, "Do you understand how awesome this is?!"

Music does this to me. And most recently, The Lone Bellow did this to me. My friend recommended it and so I bought the album without ever having heard a note. And wow. Best purchase in a long time. As I started listening in my car, I continued to turn the volume up, turn the volume up, turn the volume up. And I found myself continuing to drive just so I could keep listening.

From the very first note in 'Green Eyes and a Heart of Gold' I knew that I would love it all. I don't know if it's the music, the lyrics, the sounds of those three voices together, or all of it. But it is absolutely amazing and eventually brought me to tears.

Lyrics like these from 'Bleeding Out':
All the buildings, they lean and they smile down on us
And they shout from their rooftops words we can’t trust
Like you’re dead, you are tired, you’re ruined, you’re dust
Oh, you won’t ‘mount to nothing, like thanks full of rust

But we scream back at them from below on the street
All in unison we sing, our time’s been redeemed
We are all of the beauty that has not been seen
We are full of the color that’s never been dreamed
And these from 'Tree to Grow':
A tree I’ll grow, to let you know
My love is older than my soul

You should listen to these songs. You should listen to these words. Let them transport you and let them affect you.

in retrospect.

Looking back to this point last year, quite a bit has changed since then. Some of these changes have been wonderful and fun and exciting and I have embraced them with every step. Others have been every bit the opposite and I am resigned to say that I have not always managed these instances with as much grace or acceptance.

Over the last year these are some of the things that occurred. I got a cat. I ran my first marathon in Nashville and then liked it so much I ran my second one in Portland 6 months later. I got trained to practice EMDR at work and then we hosted a training to have everyone in our agency trained. My Granny passed away. I did some of my own therapy. My younger sister got married. I had yet another round of roommates move in. I watched more friends get married and have babies. We had a remodel at work and then we hired 6 new staff and increased our team size to 20 people, the biggest its ever been. I joined Match. I've gone on dates with new people, not a ton of which were very good dates. I SWITCHED churches. I made new friends. Lost touch with some old friends. Even more friends left Dallas. And I started to really examine what I believe about life and about people and about how those things work together.

A realization that comes up upon looking back is that at 6 months from turning 30, my life actually looks nothing like what I thought it would at this point. In some ways, it is much better than what I had expected or planned. In others, my heart and chest well up with pain and sadness at the loneliness that these differences have meant. Reconciling both of those feelings together feels odd and almost impossible, but I have a sneaking suspicion that is actually how life tends to go.

Being half a year from 30 and single for someone who has always desperately wanted a family of her own continues to be a tough pill to swallow. I hear all the time, "But you're actually so young! You've still got plenty of time!" There was a time in my life when those sentiments have been helpful. That time is no more. When your best friends started getting married when you were 21 and you've been a bridesmaid now 9 times, you start to lose hope in that sentiment. Please pardon the bitter...it sneaks out sometimes.

It's not all hard though and in some ways this has been my best year yet. I feel like I have learned who my true friends are and that is an invaluable gift. I plan to keep running which makes me really happy and proud of myself. And I am really proud of the work I do. In a lot of ways, that is the most fulfilling and meaningful part of my life and I absolutely wouldn't trade that. I get to go to work everyday knowing that I get to be the face and voice of safety and acceptance for someone who has known very little of that, sometimes recently but more often throughout their entire life. That makes me proud.

So here's to the next year as this one draws to a close. I feel like I pushed myself in a great many ways during this last year and I hope to do that again. And here's to hoping there will be someone standing beside me at the end of it.

a new review: bread & wine

Folks, you all know my love for the writing of Shauna Niequist. Her books and words and sentences are one of the things that most refreshes my soul. And, having had the opportunity to spend time with Shauna herself, these words and sentences that she writes could not be any more authentic to the person that she actually is, so naturally this makes her written words all the more powerful.

I have been given the great privilege to read and review her latest book, 'Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes.'

Three words: I loved it.

But seriously, was there a chance I wouldn't? Shauna does what she does best by interweaving her own experiences and honest insights while drawing broader conclusions about life, all the while in this go-round including recipes that tie into these experiences. As the title would suggest, many of the stories Shauna chooses to share are centered around the table, a place she calls "the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed, and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children."Shauna recounts all the people, places, and ways she has fed people through the years and how each of these encounters felt significant in its own way.

One of the ideas that Shauna promotes in 'B&W' is to start where you are, the idea that you don't have to be the perfect hostess or an accomplished chef to have the people you love over and to feed them. The key is creating a space where people feel welcomed, at home, and safe to be themselves. She describes this, saying, "I wanted cars parked all the way down the street, and people who came in without knocking, so familiar with our home that they mixed their own drinks and knew where to put the dishes after drying them." This is the thing about life around the table, it's familiar. And those faces are family.

Another theme that was very prominent throughout 'B&W' was the pervasiveness and power of shame. This theme continued to pop up over and over again and it was one of the most helpful and freeing things about this book because of Shauna's trademark honesty. These are the kinds of things she says about shame: "It whispers to us that everyone is as obsessed with our failings as we are." "Shames tells us that we're wrong for having the audacity to be happy when we're so clearly terrible. Shame wants us to be deeply apologetic for just daring to exist." To know that someone else has felt this way, that I am not the only one, was a profound thing to read and it is there because Shauna dared to be honest.

The importance of being present with people, both around the table and just in general, was another idea that was touched upon over and over again, almost methodically. It would seem, in fact, that this very idea of being present with people, is the whole point of this book and in many ways the point in Shauna's other books as well. I think that may be what I love most about her writing. She values people and relationships and the experiences in life, like sharing a meal, that make us slow down and really focus on what really matters: each other. She talks about her friends from her former house church, seemingly her dearest friends, and says this of them, "They were our people, our stand-in family, our truth tellers, our problem solvers, our middle of the night phone calls and unannounced stopovers." I LOVE this. It made me stop and think, "Who are these people in my life?" And I knew immediately. And I even called one of them and thanked them right then for being this kind of person in my life. These kinds of relationships ought to be celebrated, cultivated, and sought out. And Shauna's book encourages all these things.

Another fun bonus of this book is that at the end of each vignette, a recipe is included that corresponds with that story. I have made the Farmers Market Potato Salad: delicious.  The way Shauna talks about food will make you hungry, so I suggest reading with a snack.

I loved this book and I think you will too. It will be released in April and you can pre-order on Amazon now.

Here you go: http://www.amazon.com/Bread-Wine-Finding-Community-Around/dp/0310328179/

You should do that. I promise, you will thank me when you're finished. And while you're at it, you should read her other two books as well. They are 'Cold Tangerines' and 'Bittersweet'. Also, you can read more from Shauna on her blog here: www.shaunaniequist.com.

the year of cooking.

I'm not really into New Years resolutions, but I do generally try to identify if there is an area of my life I would like to work on during the next year. Some may call that a New Years resolution, but whatever. That's too much pressure.

So last year I decided I wanted to exercise more and Voila, I'm running a marathon in April. Exercise goal...check. This year, my focus is cooking. I realized how much I eat out and in opposition how much I enjoy cooking when I actually do take the time to do it. Also, I bought this cookbook, 'The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook' for my mom for Christmas. As I looked through it, I realized how 'do-able' those recipes are and that they all sounded like foods I would eat. There it is. Goal for 2013.

Part of my lack of cooking has always fallen on my excuse that it's hard to cook for only one person. I blame things like not wanting to eat the same thing all week or it spiraling me into a dark depression that I have no one to share this food with. Alas, I no longer feel I can use these excuses and am discarding them as irrelevant.

2013 will be the year of cooking for me. So bring on the cookbooks, blenders, and randomly needed ingredients. Hopefully by this time next year I'll be as satisfied with my progress as I am in the exercise arena from last year.

for granny.

Granny,

I’m not sure which words to say first. Should I first tell you that I love you, I’ll miss you, and can’t believe you’re gone? Or should I tell you all the things that I loved about you and what made you so very special to me. I guess I can do both.

First, I love you with my whole heart. You were such a sweet spirit and constant presence of love, gentleness, and good humor. How lucky am I that I got to call you my grandmother? I will miss you immensely and so desperately wish that I’d had the chance to tell you how much I love you one more time or had the chance to tell you goodbye. I really can’t believe that you’re gone and was in no way prepared for a world of mine in which you do not exist. A comfort to me comes in knowing that you most likely were in no pain and that you are most certainly in a place with no pain now. 

You were my granny. You were there, present, consistent, loving, and ever so thoughtful toward your family and your grandkids. What a blessing you were to so many people. There were so many things you did so well, but one of my favorite attributes of yours was your ability to make some incredible food. You know that your meatloaf, banana split cake, and macaroni and cheese have always been favorites of mine. In your honor, I’m going to do my best to make the banana split cake this year at Christmas. It won’t be as good as yours, but then nobody’s would be. 

I loved your Christmas bags that you sewed yourself. It was always so much fun opening gifts at your house out of those. I loved the plastic apple full of jellybeans that was always full and ready to feed us a treat when we were at your house. I loved that you called your freezer an ice box still and the way you giggled when you thought you had been mischievous about something. I love the rolling chairs at your kitchen table and the fact that your trashcan was always a brown paper sack under your sink. I loved our tradition that I would always ring your doorbell over and over again until you answered your door. Looking back, I imagine that was rather annoying, but you never let on. You just answered the door with a big smile every time and always with the greeting, “Hi, hon.” I loved watching the Cowboys and Rangers with you and always being entertained by how invested in the games and players you would get. I love that you have had the same blue couch for literally as long as I can remember and the green astroturf on your front porch. 

I love the smell of rose soap because it always makes me think of you. Some of my earliest memories of spending the night at your house have that smell tied to them. What a wonderful reminder of you that smell will always be. I also love how much you loved Jesus. Thank you for that and for talking about it with me. 

Granny, I love you. I will miss you so much and am so sad that you are gone. I’m sad that you won’t get the chance to see me get married or have my own kids and that those people in my life won’t have had the chance to know you, but I am thankful that these first 28 years of mine had you in them. What a special woman you were.

With great love and affection,

Jessica

come on in.

One of the things I am learning that I find pretty valuable in relationships with people is actually a relatively simple thing. I don’t need people to be super entertaining, make the wittiest comments, or be the smartest. I don’t care one bit who is the coolest, has the most expensive things, or is the most socially connected. There is one quality that seems to stand out above the rest for me: presence. 

When someone is able to be present and consistent, that is a truly valuable quality to me. Some of my very favorite people are those that I know I can trust to do what they say they are going to do. That’s not to say that this is a rigid expectation of others always sticking with some original plan, but more a general reliability factor that can be expected. To use a technical term, I’m referring to what could be called “non-flakiness.”

This quality of presence doesn’t have to look very extravagant either. You don’t need to be present with me at a cool concert, event, or always doing some exciting activity. For me, presence actually means more in the everyday, routine things of life. Contrary to popular belief about single people, I would actually love to run errands with you and your kids. I would love to sit in the same room and read with you. I would love to clean up your kitchen if you let me eat dinner at your house. 

When people open their doors and their hearts and allow you to be a part of their everyday lives, that is the true presence that I feel is the most significant. It is significant because these are the moments that life is woven of, these everyday, routine, patterned times of life. It is significant because these are also the moments that are really easy to just let pass by and not include others in. But I tend to think these times are a gift because the people you can include in these moments of your life are the people you know are “your people.” These are the people that you know are in this thing with you because they’re willing to run to the grocery store with you or to go have your car inspected...just because. 

So for me, some of the best words are not, “Oh yeah, let’s get together soon” from someone that is all about a full social calendar or with people that may be really interesting but I know may cancel at any minute. The best words for me really are these familiar ones: “The door’s open. Come on in when you get here.”

the attempt.

Well, it has been about 6 months since my last blog post and after scanning back over my blog as a whole, I recognize the great sporadic-ness with which I write. This is about to change. 

I had coffee with my wonderful friend Steve this week and he has challenged me to write more and more regularly. I have committed to him to try and write 2 blogs a week, and he the same, and we will help hold one another accountable to this. I’m feeling rather shaky about my ability to hold down my end of this deal, but I’m going to do my very best to make the most concerted effort I can. 

For me, writing has always been a whimsy thing. I am not disciplined, not structured, and am on no real schedule. It has purely been something that I have used as a creative outlet when I needed a place to express myself. But what I’m finding and what I hear from friends who are real writers, like Steve, is that if you are serious about writing it can’t just be on a whim. If that’s how you write, you’ll never get any better and you won’t be able to pursue writing on any sort of grander scale.  

Blogs are great and a wonderful avenue to express our feelings and thoughts in a public way, but I have always had hopes of writing on a bigger scale. I would love to write a book or do some sort of writing that could be published. That is going to take discipline though and so here is my attempt at moving in that direction. This is my effort to see what happens, both internally and in my writing, if I begin to make it a habit of sorts. 

This is my attempt. Feel free to hold me accountable. 

welcome back, christy nockels.

Today is the day. Christy's new album released and with great anticipation, I sat on my bed and let this new collection of songs begin to unfold softly. Very quickly, as I sat alone in my room, I had tears streaming down my face and felt my heart come to rest. I was swept away and transported to the memories of the early moments of God's sweet grace and mercy in my life. All within the first moments of this woman's voice.

If you've known me long, you've heard me talk in some capacity about Christy Nockels, her voice, her music, and the influence she has had in my life. Her voice, by the Lord's providential ordaining, is the vehicle that consistently has proven to most effectively move my heart into worship. And this album is no exception. With lyrics that are reminiscent of her earlier Watermark songs and the powerful choruses that she has been developing over the years, these songs are nourishing my soul in a way that it needed desperately.

Some lines that have stood out and are already weaving refreshment into my heart:

"So with my arms stretched out, I’m swaying to Your heartbeat. I’m growing with the sound of Your voice calling. You’re bringing out the beauty that You have put in me. For Your joy and for Your glory falling." - For Your Splendor


"Have you ever let yourself be loved by the one who made You. Have you ever told your soul to believe that His heart is on your side. You could even try to run away. But there's nothing you can do. Just be loved. Be loved. He loves you. Just be loved. Be loved. He loves you." - Be Loved


"Our God, You are here, and in Your power You move. The faith in our hearts is how we welcome You. The joy in our lives is Your love breaking through. Your love is moving, moving among us." - Your Love is Moving 


"Walking through this life without Your freedom in my heart. Is like holding onto shackles that You have torn apart. So remind me of Your promises. And all that You have done. In this world I will have trouble. But You have overcome. And every gift that I receive. You determine just for me." - Already All I Need 


Father, thank you for loving us the way You do and for providing good gifts to Your children. These songs were certainly a gift today and in this season. Thank you for providing Christy's voice as a shadow of the greatness and beauty that You are. 

a new season.

it's been another long season since my last blog and quite honestly, it's just been a busy time. i find when i feel really busy in life, often it is hard to sit and create original thoughts or even write down the events that are occurring.

to add to that, i found myself in a season where i never felt like i was able to completely rest. i didn't feel at home in the place i was living, a relationship ended that i thought was for the long-haul, and it made it hard to ever feel like i could just relax. i don't think i have realized how difficult those months were until looking back on them now.

and while those days were often exhausting, i feel as though a new season has been shifted into and a renewal has begun to occur within me. the catalyst: i moved last weekend into a home and into a neighborhood. this is a transition i was so ready for. i got out of a noisy and cold apartment and moved into a place where i can settle a bit. where families play outside. where there is quiet instead of beer cans laying in the hall outside my front door. what an incredible change and amazing blessing.

the place you live has an effect on you in a way that i was completely unaware of until recently. your home, the place that is your respite from the world, has the profound ability to create rest and peace or continue to further the stress that daily living can often perpetuate. this was a new realization for me and after a season of living in a location where i never felt able to truly rest, i am so thankful for this new chapter and season. i'm thanking the Lord for his sweet faithfulness in providing this opportunity, this house, this neighborhood to renew and invigorate my spirit again.

the week before i moved i also made a quick trip to nashville, my heart's home. it had been almost a year since i'd been and i was itching to get there. there is something that happens to me there. i slow down. i breathe deeply. i feel creative. i feel alive in a profound way that i do not in dallas. it is good for me to go there and i pray that one day i will in fact call it home. for now though, dallas is where the Lord has placed and kept me. nevertheless, my trip provided a time to breathe and begin to prepare for this new season. i read, drank coffee, spent time with my sister, and sat in beautiful locations like the one above. that was on the patio of an italian restaurant. enchanting evening. i returned from my trip ready to turn the page of a new chapter.

so here i am in a new house with renewed energy and hopes for what this new season will bring. i pray that it will be a sweet one with times of celebration, joy, peace, and rest. i can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.

colder weather.

one might think that the title of this blog is referring to the crazy snowpocalypse we've had in dallas over the last few weeks, but that would be incorrect. not the crazy snow part. apparently we were living in the north pole for a while there. the incorrect assumption would be in thinking this post is about that. it's not.

rather, the title is in reference to the latest song release from the zac brown band.  the song is entitled 'colder weather' and it has been receiving regular play time on my ever-changing playlist. the harmonies produced by these guys are unmatched...except for maybe by 'the rescues.' see a few posts down for the scoop on them. this song definitely creates the "i'm gonna come out of my skin" sensation that communicates to me that a song is a winner.

enjoy.

p.s. the rescues...their music...or a few bandmates will be appearing on 'glee' next tuesday. you don't want to miss it. you're welcome for the heads up.

deciphering me.

on this warm, bright day i decided to take to the katy trail and pound it out on the pavement. the mission was two-fold. get some exercise and spend some time with jesus. as i walk and have my music turned up, the Lord speaks more clearly than most other times to me. and i needed to hear from him today.

so i set out, began to walk, and turned the music up. as the sun poured out gently and generously and the wind broke forth cautiously at times, the comfort and gravity of the Lord's love for me enveloped my entire being. i could have walked for hours to continue to walk in that space and time of clarity, knowing on a deep level that i am loved and held in that love by something that is not any of my doing, but only by his. i am known and anchored by he who created me and that is the most comforting thing i can think of.

the musical conduit that the Lord used to communicate this message was the australian voice of brooke fraser. her songs 'shadowfeet' and especially 'deciphering me' powered my steps and moved my mind as i walked in the light of the afternoon.

the rescues.

i love music. a life without music is a little bit like life without oxygen for me. it's what moves my soul, fills me up, and stirs my affections for Jesus. music lifts and energizes and refreshes me.

so when i find a band, a singer, or a specific song that is legit and lights out fantastic, i get super excited and usually begin to herald said band, singer, or song to anyone who will listen.

so let me continue to herald. if you haven't heard of the band 'the rescues,' allow me to introduce you. they are rob giles, gabriel mann, kyler england, and adrianne gonzalez. and they are the bomb. buy their album. go to their shows. help them keep making this beautiful sound.

enjoy.

hello again.

well, it's been a while. that is partially due to my internet going out at my house (i loathe you, time warner) and partially due to the overwhelmingly busy season that has been the last several months of my life. while it's been fun, it has left me worn out, tired, and having had little time to write and blog.

one super notable thing happened in my blogging absence. you all know of my love of shauna niequist's writing and how i kind of wish we could be besties. yes. so she came into town to do an event with us at irving bible church! it was such a special night getting to hear her thoughts and ideas about writing, motherhood, and bittersweet seasons. i was struck by just how open, honest, and comfortable she seems in her own skin. completely look up to her and if she lived in dallas would be stalking her to just absorb as much wisdom as i could.

i was also impressed because not only did she remember prior conversations that we'd had, but she remembered my sister's name. she met my sister 2 years before. 2 years. that's impressive, people. i already knew she was legit, but that just confirmed it. you rock, shauna.

here's a photo from the evening:

speaking of shauna, she is quite frequently posting book lists of things she has recently read that i always find really helpful when making trips to the bookstore. so here's what i've been reading over the past year:

hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet 
by: jamie ford
loved this one. set in the pacific northwest during the time of the japanese internment camps of WW2, this is a sweet and innocent love story between a chinese boy and a japanese girl and how the prejudice of the period affected their relationship. ford is a good writer, evoking a very real sense that i was in seattle while i was reading. love that.

the help
by: kathryn stockett
again, LOVED. told in 3 separate female voices during the 60's in mississippi, the tension from the race riots is palpable. a must read.

the girl with the dragon tattoo
by: lars stieg
i read this whole series in the matter of a couple months. they are compelling. lisbeth salander is an incredibly complex, interesting character that is not often found.

the secret garden
by: frances hodgsen burnett
honestly, i liked the movie better. and that never happens. this just felt really repetitive in its describing the garden and all the plants. i'm not a big fan of naturalism writing and this proved why. no thanks.

the bell jar
by: sylvia plath
hmmm...it took me almost a year to get through this one. i think that means i didn't love it. while esther greenwood is a compelling character, i just never really connected with the story.

twilight
by: stephanie meyer
i resisted this for so long, but finally gave in when a co-worker that is a reader told me to read them. while i will submit that the plotline is an addicting one, the writing was not the best. sorry, stephanie meyer. it wasn't. yell at your editor a little bit.

found art
by: leanna tankersley 
i think i went into this one with unfair expectations. i expected her to be shauna and to have the same voice because the genre is similar. when she didn't, i was disappointed, but i think that's my fault. leanna is a good writer and has interesting stories to tell, i just didn't personally connect with them the way i have with shauna's writing. fault is mine. write more, leanna.

bittersweet
by: shauna niequist
duh. loved it. you should read it. it's phenomenal. i actually read this a couple of times this year. and get excited...shauna's hard at work on #3. it will be titled 'bread and wine.'

that's enough for now. i'm reading 'life of pi' by yann martel currently. it's interesting. i think i like it. i'll let you know.

take me away...

Tomorrow I head to the refreshingly wonderful Nashville, Tennessee with my sweet boyfriend, Matt, and our friend, Jordan. I can't wait to be in the city I love. My heart soars at the thought...

"Y'all take it easy now. This isn't Dallas, it's Nashville! They can't do this to us here in Nashville! Let's show them what we're made of. Come on everybody, sing! Somebody, sing!" -'Nashville'

Photos of our trip are soon to come! For now, let's get on the road...

old fashioned letters.

There's just something about it. You go to the mailbox, open the door, and see it laying there. A letter. Perhaps it has a fun stamp, someone's handwriting in a distinct pen, and maybe a fun return address stamp or something. It was written out of love or thoughtfulness or care or all three. Someone took the time to write out their thoughts and encouragement and send it your way like a surprise. There is just something so magical about that. So rich and meaningful.

I received a letter in the mail today. A card really, but it had the writing inside to make it seem like a letter. My sweet friend, Kari, sent me a thank you card for some things I gave her before her wedding. And rather than write the necessary thank you's and move on, she really took her time and wrote down a few thoughts, person-specific encouragement, and very un-canned responses. And it meant so much to me.  

Consider this: 

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls; 

for, thus friends absent speak.  ~John Donne

Kari and I haven't been able to see each other in a few months because of her wedding and all the transition that follows that, and yet today I felt closer to her than I have in a long while. The power of the letter, the written word, is immense and is a power we often neglect. Perhaps it is this power, this enduring quality that the written word holds, that allowed God to choose it as the form in which He left us His Truth. In fact, much of the New Testament is written in this very form: the letter.  

In many of his letters included in scripture, Paul begins in the very way that our own letters often appear. He encouraged its recipient. 

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with 

joy in my every prayer for you all." -Philippians 1:3-4 

"We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

praying always for you..." -Colossians 1:3

"We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you 

in our prayers..." -1 Thessalonians 1:2

"We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because 

your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward 

one another grows ever greater..." -2 Thessalonians 1:3

May we continue this practice of writing letters to one another. In this digital culture of emails and text messages and Facebook and even blogs, it is my hope that we continue to put pen to paper and reach out to one another in an old fashioned way. There is no sweeter surprise or greater encouragement than finding a letter in the mailbox written just for you by someone you love.

bittersweet.

Okay, y'all know how much I love Shauna's work. For me, reading her words is like reading insights into my own mind that I hadn't yet connected. She writes the way I think. Her words inspire me to do the things I kind of think about, but don't dare do. Her words inspire ME to write the way I want to write. And homegirl loves Jesus and stirs my affection for Christ in constantly pointing to Him in her writing. She's coming to Dallas in November and is doing an event at Irving Bible Church that my friend, Aubrey, is organizing. Ladies, y'all need to come. You know it will be fantastic. Talk to me for details if you're interested.

Her latest work is wonderful, challenging, honest, and inspiring. Here are a few thoughts I have about it...

There are many words that could be used to describe Shauna's recent work: raw, gritty, funny, sarcastic, inspiring. However, the one word that most encapsulates the tone and the brilliance is this one: honest.

Writing about a personal season of heartache, change, and struggle, Shauna lets the reader into very raw and honest places in her life. She shares the pain and feelings of isolation following a miscarriage, the struggles that arise in marriage when listening stops, and the challenge of accepting and moving with change. It is all at once a beautiful tapestry of wisdom and a felt pain shared between reader and author in the communicating of these experiences.

Through it all, Shauna constantly points back to her faith in Christ as being the stronghold that carried her through the season of deep difficulty she experienced. Interweaving Biblical truths in her own refreshing language and style, Shauna provides insight and wisdom that does not terminate on herself but rather points the reader to a greater Answer.

In blessing or mourning, this work is one that is essential. The combination of its honesty and hope in the presence of hard circumstances is something that will provide encouragement to the reader, regardless of the season they find themselves in.

Shauna, thank you for letting us in, pointing us to Christ, and running the race before you well. Inspiring.

"...one day I'll stand before God and account for what I did with my life. There is work that is only mine to do: a child that is ours to raise, stories that are mine to tell, friends that are mine to walk with. The grandest seduction of all is the myth that DOING EVERYTHING BETTER gets us where we want to be. It gets us somewhere, certainly, but not anywhere worth being." -Things I Don't Do, 'Bittersweet'

moving.

Contrary to what the title might make you think, I'm not moving. I did move. About a month ago. But I am not moving now. Just wanted to clear all that up. Thanks and gig'em.

The title is indicative of what I feel like the Lord is doing right now. HE is moving. I see things happening around me that can be one thing and one thing only: the sweet, mighty, and providential hand of God is stirring, swirling, and softly moving amongst people in my life. And I am so excited. I feel like, if possible, my soul might burst open. I want to tell everyone about it. I want to tell them that He is good, that He saves and is saving, and that He loves us. 

I am humbled at the idea that I get to play some small role in the hugely eternal work that the Lord is doing of saving souls. My gosh. Life can never be boring when we realize the great drama of life that we get to participate in and the urgency that awaits every relationship, every interaction, and every conversation. 

So writing this is my attempt at keeping my soul from exploding, an outlet of excitement if you will. And the picture is to give you readers, or reader in the singular perhaps, a visual representation of this excitement. Just can hardly contain it...

a new england weekend

My weekend in New England was quite the experience and far too fun to completely synthesize to an appropriate length for this blog. It included a 12-hour trip to NYC on 4 hours of sleep, walking in on a wedding on 5th Avenue, the car battery dying and standing around at a Pep Boys, getting trampled in Philly on the 4th only to be protected by random strangers, getting lost in Philly on foot, standing in the Atlantic Ocean, and then almost missing my flight back to Dallas. Through it all, AC and I loved being together and were determined to see the humor in everything that happened...almost. All in all, excellent weekend I'd say. Here are a few pictures to capture it...

Love you, AC. Get back to Dallas pronto!!!

new york, i love you...

One week from Saturday, I will be arriving in the city that I have longed to visit for years now: New York City. As a huge fan of pop culture, I feel as though I know New York inside and out, but have yet to walk the streets. In a week, that will no longer be true. And I. can't. wait.

This blog is dedicated to prepping my excitement for the places I'm hoping to see. I'll only be there for 24 hours, so this will literally be a little amuse bouche of the city. Or a small tasting for you non-foodies out there!

Broadway

I don't think I'll be able to take it if I go and don't take in a show on this street. The Great White Way has been calling my name for years now. Strong vocalists that can dance and act all in one theater...yes, please!!

Serendipity

I would love to sit and drink a frozen hot chocolate at this New York  staple. Ever since the movie brought the name to us Americans who don't frequent the city, I've been dying to try it!

Gray's Papaya

The hot dogs of Gray's Papaya are legendary and their acclaim was brought my way via the 1999 production of 'You've Got Mail.' Needless to say, I've wanted to go for over 10 years...

Cafe Lalo

This is another 'You've Got Mail' destination. It is the place that Meg Ryan meets NY152 while reading 'Pride and Prejudice.' It was because of that movie that I read that book, which is now my favorite, and I've always wanted to visit this shop.

Central Park

And last, but certainly not least, is this beautiful place. You cannot visit New York City and not visit this park in its heart. In the future, I would love to go back with a blanket, a book, and a great big cup of coffee. For next weekend, I'll just settle for a stroll through...

New York, I already love you and absolutely can't wait to meet you.

grace...

grace for one.
grace for many.
grace that saves.
grace that covers.

paid for.
unmerited favor.
freely given.
it alone.

undeserved.
unmatched.
justifies.
forgives.

only through Christ.